Soundersboard - Seattle Sounders FC

Seattle Sounders Semifinal Game 1 in Seattle

2009-10-30T21:31:00.000-07:00

The Best of This Week's Commentary

2009-10-28T20:48:00.000-07:00

ESPN Soccernet

Start with the classic ESPN Soccernet format: who's who and why they're going to win and then why they're not. Which is kind of a pansy way to go about your predictions. Everyone wins and no one wins. But it will catch you up on the must know of the MLS playoff contenders:

http://soccernet.espn.go.com/columns/story?id=689854&sec=mls&root=mls&cc=5901

(LA is favored. The Sounders are the golden boys. Chivas will fold under post season pressure as history illustrates. Etc. Etc.)

Goal.com

A certain Mr. McCarthy over at Goal.com who likes to muse takes a more manly stance with his actual rankings of the playoff hopefuls. He places the Sounders at #2, right after LA (the Yankess of MLS - blech.). And he asks, astutely, "will the pressure of reaching a final on home turf make the task too difficult?"

http://www.goal.com/en-us/news/1110/major-league-soccer/2009/10/28/1588779/mls-playoffs-mccarthys-musings-ranking-the-mls-cup

Then Allen Ramsey, also of Goal.com (fast becoming one of my favorite intelligent soccer websites, after Prost Amerika http://www.prostamerika.com/soundersfc/), really touches Soundersboard existential heart with the following "one's to watch" shortlist of unsung potential heros.

Heros. Intensity. Drama. America. Ramsay's speaking my language (well, up 'till the America part, but thanks to MLS in Seattle, I'm beginning to feel better about that too - and also that 4 part series on NPR "Europe and Us" that was on the other week... solar power, bicycles, high speed trains, a package of steaks that comes with a bovine bio...)

Seattle's rising star? None other than Stevie "Jets" Zakuani:

http://goal.com/en-us/news/1110/major-league-soccer/2009/10/28/1590487/mls-playoffs-the-short-list-making-a-name

It's gonna be a great (rainy) night tomorrow night.

Looking Back on Saturday Night

2009-10-25T14:53:00.001-07:00

You don’t need to come here to find out that Houston beat Chivas 3-2 today, which means that Seattle will host Houston at home in the first round of the playoffs. You can go to http://www.prostamerika.com/soundersfc/2009/10/25/houston-lead-chivas-2-0/ to find that out.

You came here to be reminded how much fun it was to see the Sounders win in their final regular season game last night.

How the fans were out in full force in their green and blue on a beautifully cool October night, a night for keeping warm with whiskey, with their number nines and smiles.

And how good it felt to come from behind and score two goals after waiting for oh so long...

Ahh... what a night.

Black and White, and Orange

2009-10-23T21:17:00.000-07:00

Was there something a little incongruous about seeing Freddie walking through Home Depot up on North Aurora in the recent video on the Sounders FC homepage? (It's so worth watching - sorry, unembeddable - just be sure to tune out when Matt Gasch starts talking to some kids waiting in the dull line.) Walking down those orange warehouse rows in a svelte white shirt rolled up to the elbows and a very finely fitted black vest? Kasey Keller was a little more incognito in his baseball hat and neutral tones. But Freddie stood out in his black and white style in the place where just last weekend I schelpped in with muddy jeans holes in the knees and dirty fingernails.

Yes, there was, and it was great actually. A perfect juxtaposition. The working man’s world in black and white class. And I love me a working man. But I also love me some class. You can have it all.

Don’t forget folks, it’s good to dress up for an occasion! Make it an occasion!

Freddie’s raising the game in so many ways. The more we see of him the better. He looks great. He talks great. He’s complimentary. He’s humble. He has incredible style. He’s a new kind of very embraceable standard for Seattle, for the U.S. Work hard. Look good. Be kind.

Keep'n the Dream Alive

2009-10-22T22:31:00.000-07:00

For those interested in seeing a FA Premier League, FA Cup, Community Shield, La Liga, Copa del Rey, UEFA Champions League, and World Cup champion in a MLS uniform, hold on to that precarious feather in your hat.

Sky Sports is perpetuating the Thierry Henry to MLS rumor yet again. We all know Thierry’s fondness for American sports and the US in general but it seems that his time with FC Barcelona is nearing its end. As Barca has its hooks in Manchester City’s Brazilian international Robinho and attempting to reel him in by offering a heavyweight of their own, Henry, Manchester City head man Mark Hughes had this to say:

“And regarding a swap deal (with Thierry Henry) - no, it's not going to happen either. I've got the impression that Henry is leaving Barcelona at the end of the season.”

“There were meetings last month between his representatives and New York Red Bulls and I've got the impression that after the World Cup he is going to go to the MLS.”

There you go. Most of us thought it might happen by 2011, but with the recent success of our very own Designated Player Freddie Ljungberg, rumors that the MLS is considering throwing a few more beans on the salary cap pile while adding another DP not to count against the cap, and a new stadium in New York, maybe we’ll see Thierry next season.

Needless to say, we’d rather see him team up with his former Arsenal setup man here in Seattle, but either way it’s good news for the MLS... if in fact it is news.

Sky Sports report: http://www.skysports.com/story/0,19528,11828_5638642,00.html

Roger Levesque Is So Nickname-able

2009-10-22T16:25:00.000-07:00

First it’s Steve Kelly of the Seattle Times christening him “Ever Ready Roger” in this nice (as we come to expect fromt he Seattle Times) article. http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/stevekelley/2010102162_kelley21.html

Then Don Ruiz of the News Tribune pipes in with “Super Sub.” Ugh.

Soundersboard stands by Roger “Money” Levesque for formal usage, as in, “And starting for the Sounders, Rogerrrr... Moneyyy... LeVESQUE!”

While Don Ruiz’s Super Sub nickname falls utterly flat (I think I got one of those from Quizno’s last week), I commend him for the philosophical quotes in his article. http://www.thenewstribune.com/sports/soccer/story/923609.html

First, Sigi, about his decision to sub Montero in Saturday’s match at Kansas City: “My mother always told me that your first reaction is usually your true reaction, and everything else is a rationalization.”

Pause and reflect.

Then Ruiz ends with a nice little aphorism from Ever Ready Roger, “They say luck is where opportunity meets preparation.”

One more nickname possibility – The Philosopher. He’s our own Emerson: “Patience and patience we shall win at the last!”

Freddie Keeps Talkin'; Dee Feels Full of Love

2009-10-21T22:08:00.000-07:00

Did anyone watch the CONCACAF Champions League match tonight between Houston Dynamo and Isidro Metapan? Something about that lonely field down in El Salvador made that game so intimate. It was almost hot for a few minutes there. You could hear every yell on the sideline and from what looked to be no more than 500 fans, maybe.

“C’mon! Punt it!”

“Hey... hey, hey, hey hey!”

An Isidro Metapan player goes down in the 70 somethingth minute, barely, and the full five-person staff of the local medical clinic comes running out on the pitch with their stretchers and spray stuff. The player does his best drama act as he gets on the stretcher and then you’re back to the sounds of grunting and pushing and rushing.

Houston ‘keeper Hall comes out looking wide and strong and scares off a one on one attack. He taps his adversary on the ass friendly and relieved. A Houston player muscles out the opposing man holding the ball under his foot in his own corner in the 80 somethingth minute. The field is only moderately well lit, which gives it a gritty backseat appeal. Maybe the natural light is even better for the players, but it wasn't made for televised coverage. You could almost see the stars for chrissakes!

Ugh. And there was Craig Waibel again. I’ve got a bad taste in my mouth about that guy, mostly because of his chorus line of chubby groupies in their stupid orange shirts at the Houston game this summer. The same game that Captain Sherbet, the gangly teenage kid with glasses, an orange cape and sherbet colored face paint was a mere few seats to my left, within sweating distance. I liked him though. That took balls for some acne kid to show up with his orange flag and his solo chants, “We got Onstad!” in the heart of Sounders season ticket holder country.

They lost. Houston. 3-2. I was rooting for them. I was, of course! I’m rooting for the MLS baby! Plus Isidro’s jerseys were way too busy. I never root for bad style.

But then, oh God, then. Talk about style. The AC Milan v. Real Madrid highlights. A thing of beauty. I love the way what’s his name, Max Bretos, says “naughty.” Kaka against his old teammates at AC Milan (we got his jersey on clearance after the trade). Goal after goal. So smooth. AC Milan upsets.

And on and on. The UEFA Champions League highlights. I could keep going, really. And I did, with another beer, and then I moseyed on over to Freddie’s site (we’re on first name basis until I can come up with a nickname), and read about how he says every MLS team needs 2 or 3 International players. http://freddie.speaksup.com/2009/10/21/mls-would-need-players-like/

Yes. Yes! Keep talking, Freddie. He’s rooting for the MLS too. Thierry Henry to New York Red Bulls? www.mls-rumors.net says so among others. New York needs the help, no doubt. I’m even rooting for them. This is how I know the MLS has not come of age yet. The only team I despise is the LA Galaxy.

Portland? Vancouver? I’m gearing up to loathe them.

Soundersboard is back!

2009-10-19T21:18:00.000-07:00

Soundersboard is back! I can hardly believe it myself. And right at the end of the regular season, just in time for the playoffs! Well-timed just like the season ticket renewal deadline, you sly bastards.

The truth is I’ve been feeling guilty and now I’m inspired. Here I go and neglect Soundersboard while I’m off having fun all summer, and then Freddie comes out and publishes his own blog! http://freddie.speaksup.com/.

He's brief and to the point. Fantastic! We all deserve a little light blog fun, don't you know?

So you now have the company of Soundersboard for the playoffs all the way through the MLS cup! And I've decided to take it upon myself to entertain us (me and Becksta that is) throughout the long MLS-less winter.

I’ll just start promoting my book when we all get terribly bored. And when all else fails, (semi) naked pictures.

Meanwhile, I have been thinking about soccer, paying attention to the Sounders, watching games (on TV for what seems like forever), and thinking up apropos new nicknames for the guys on the pitch:

Stevie “Jets” Zakuani
Nate “No Moves” Jaqua
Roger “Money” Levesque

I stand by Sebastian “Le Hawk” but I still don’t know Freddie and Kasey well enough. Plus they both deserve the respect of a well-thought out sobriquet. As for Fredy, well, the jury’s out on him yet. But not the rest of y'all. Onward!

Soccer Player to Cut Hair

2009-06-11T19:47:00.000-07:00

So I just got three cases of wine in the mail, I found a website that describes itself as “spilling red wine on soccer’s social fabric since 2007” (The Offside Rules), and I learned that Marcelo Balboa is cutting his luxuriant locks for charity (see mls.net article here).

Marcelo Balboa: Hall of Famer, TV analyst (recall from Beijing anyone?), long hair wearer, newsreel favorite. Media (especially low-brow blogs) can’t resist the bicycle kick:

Judging by the number of hair restoration commercials on Fox Soccer Channel, this is a big deal. That hair is a chick-magnet. Judging from the content of this post, those cases of wine are really good. This should last two weeks.

Apparently, Balboa hasn’t cut his hair since 1994. Back when dudes had bangs. Oh, and also, The Offside Rules reports that Fijian Soccer Players Beleive That Weed Will Improve Their Game.

That is all.

FC Barcelona Tickets Presale Info

2009-06-10T12:12:00.000-07:00

While the presale started yesterday morning at 9am, you'll still be ahead of the public sales that begin Monday, June 15th at 10am.

Buy your tickets here right now with the presale code: 3BARCA

Get Your Girls Out!

2009-06-09T22:02:00.001-07:00

This is my little version of Girls Gone Wild, right on here on your very own Soundersboard. If you've got body parts you would like to show the world (or a very small portion of it) on our blog, send some pics on over!

I Scored with Freddie- Psyche!

2009-06-09T21:11:00.000-07:00

The Sounders are getting ready to play four out of the next five games at home, and I'm thinking that it is time for five out of five wins. I'm also thinking that the time is high for instituting Dawn's Referee Rating Systems after each game because I am tired of seeing WAY too much red at the games. I know that they make jack-all, but come on, so do a lot of people in this economy and people all across the board are being rated on their performances- players included.

To get myself ready for the home game stretch, I economized and instead of a jersey, got an I scored with Freddie t-shirt. I want you to know that this is only meant to support him as a player and does not mean that I intend to score with him, just that I want to be watching when he scores....oops, that didn't sound much better, did it?

I'm planning on being there at halftime and post and pre-game to interview festive and interesting fans, so please be ready with your commentary.

Drew Carey, my very favorite owner of the Sounders

2009-06-06T13:22:00.000-07:00

Don't worry Stevie (as in Zakuani, not Wonder), I am in no, way, shape, or form shifting my allegiance to Drew Carey over you. I mean come on, as the LA Times said, Drew is a little schlumpy and Drew is not exactly my type of guy (although I do dig the hot glasses). However, the man sings, was in a marching band in high school, shot pics professionally (how i love the sound of that word) and gave us, the Seattle Sounders fans, the right to fire the GM. Fan-fuckingtastic for sure. Plus, he shouts out, ""Chackalackalacka!" during games, perhaps in a flashback to a previous life before he was part owner of MLS soccer's most-hated franchise.

So this is how I am tallying things up, just in case you were wondering and even if you are not.

Steve Zakuani is my true love and not necessarily my favorite player. It's only June, so I've yet to sort that out.

The Gorilla is absolutely the hottest fan because who wouldn't be in that costume? Seriously.

And last but certainly not least, Drew Carey is my fave owner of the team. Not because he is famous, but because he insisted that all the season ticket holders should have scarves. This does not mean, however, that I am at all interested in scoring with Drew. Again, just in case you were curious.......

Please Bring Your Sweet Segway to the Next Home Game!

2009-06-04T15:42:00.000-07:00

Spend a little time with this photo. Observe the Ferrari branded Segway extended-cab of your dreams. Fresh rims in the back! An automated, reclined ride for two. The dude looked all secret service with a Bluetooth headset too.

The custom Segway
rollin’ fans up vendor row to the Mariner’s game.

And seriously, look how happy they are to be riding in it!

That is probably because he was also BLASTING “We Will Rock You” out of the many speakers. You could hear it twenty yards away plain as day.

Whether his outstretched two fingers are flashing the peace sign or indicating two people for two bucks, I am hopeful that he will come down for the next Sounder FC home game.

Seattle Sounders FC Fans- Original Slideshow

2009-06-02T01:34:00.000-07:00

I want to thank everybody who let me take their pictures and hope you get to see your faces on the blog. OK, admittedly, I may have gotten a little carried away with the special effects, but you can't blame a girl for trying, can you? As it stands, I am pretty fricking impressed with the quality of the fans at the Sounders games-everyone is still standing, still friendly, and cheering like mad when the ball comes anywhere near the goal.

As for my thoughts on the game, they are somewhat muddled from perhaps one too many PBR's beforehand, but I am thinking that there are WAY too many ties in the MLS. It's really hard to know how to feel after a game that ends in a tie. I mean, I guess, I'm happy when we tie instead of lose, but it lacks a certain kind of resolution that you get from other sports. (I was reminded earlier that I should be happy I'm not watching 5-day cricket games that end up in ties, but I don't really think my liver could take that kind of sport-watching.)I also think the refs need to lay off the red-cards. It's a little much to take.

Le Toux Gives Up Red Shoe

2009-06-01T22:25:00.000-07:00

I’m not so bold as my blogging colleague to offer up my “favorite” player, but observant eyes will notice that “Le Hawk” is rising to the top of my attentions. He’s the only player whom I’ve christened with a nickname after all. And there is a lot to like about him: the fact that he was the first player signed to the MLS Sounders, his thick French accent, that he runs like hell and misses French bakeries.

That was all good enough, but after seeing Le Hawk take off his red boot and offer it up to a kid in the stands after last Saturday’s match, I’m now officially gushing.

Should you momentarily guffaw at the idea of him missing French bakeries (which you can reference here), you might be won over by the following information about Le Hawk’s international aspirations. Speaking about playing for the French National Team, he said:

"I would like to play for the U.S.," said Le Toux, who remains a French citizen. "I would want to play for the country that gave me a chance, and I really love it here. It would be an honor if I received the opportunity to play for them."

Class, baby. That’s class.

Seattle Sounders FC Tail Gate Party Original Video

2009-05-31T17:00:00.000-07:00

Check back later this week to see fan photos and hope you're enjoying the Seattle sun!

Sounders FC vs. Crew Pre-Match Entertainment

2009-05-29T16:00:00.000-07:00

Samba y Sabor (which describes itself as the “premier series of pre-game parties for the Seattle Sounders FC” and also features the lovely ladies shimmying and shaking in feather headdresses and pasties during the pregame marches) is featuring Fernando Pitt, the Brazilian Freestyle Soccer player, at the Starbar (309 1st Avenue S) at 5pm.

Check out his impressive moves below and feel free to bring the kids – it’s an all ages events. (Hey Becksta – check out the short shorts and no shirt on the beach! Nice!)

And if you are traveling without young’ens and love beer, specifically the pride of the Northwest – IPAs, then stop by the Bookstore Bar at the Alexis Hotel on 1st and Madison. It won’t be rollicking with raucous fans, but they have some Sounders specials, the waiter is very nice, and they have the Ninkasi Total Domination IPA ON TAP. Yum! And an appropriate beer for what we expect from the Sounders tomorrow night… Total Domination.

Steve Zakuani

2009-05-21T18:43:00.000-07:00

I know you have all been waiting to see which Sounder I would fall in love with....it was a tough choice at first with so many fine specimens around. First, my true love was Fredy Montero- the very first goal of the team. Fan-fuckingtastic. But, truth be told, he's a little young for me and I worry that the language barrier would get in the way. We all saw how great it went when he had a translator the first time (think false sexual allegations-OUCH) and I wouldn't want to do anything to jeopardize the team.

I won't lie, Ljungberg was also testing me- but seriously, could I really compete with a Swedish girl? Not in this in lifetime, I'm afraid. And, then, I really, really noticed Steve Zakuani. The name, at first, was the main attraction because it sounds so melodious off of my tongue, but then I started to appreciate how fricking fast he is on the field. And, come on, let's be honest, his passes are beautiful. And, while I will more than likely never score with my new true love, I am happy to watch him score any time.

American Idol Bikini Girl and the Seattle Sounders

2009-05-21T15:52:00.000-07:00

OK, I know that I've said it before, Dawn's said it before, and Eli Sanders of the Stranger Slog perhaps said it the best, but MLS players, especially the Sounders, need to wear some shorter shorts. Seriously. Last night, I accidentally on purpose watched the American Idol finale (please don't tell Dawn-it will ruin my reputation as a learned person of the world) and there were contestants- 2 in fact, performing in bikinis. One had a bikini and the other flashed by opening up her dress. If this is permissible, for the love of God, why do our boys (men) have to be covered up like teen-aged skaters?

On Vacation...

2009-05-18T11:08:00.000-07:00

Be back soon!

FC Dallas and The Rainbow Connection

2009-05-14T21:36:00.000-07:00

Should you tire of my style of in-depth soccer analysis, may I recommend, officially now, Prost Amerika’s Sounders FC blog. Start here for their FC Dallas Match Preview where you can learn that FC Dallas is known as “Hoops” to the fans and media. Then when you wonder what the Kermit reference is in the article subtitle, flip back over here for the connection.

It refers to no less than one of the best names I have encountered since I was enthralled with all fourteen letters of “Saltalamacchia” squeezed across the shoulders of an MLB jersey. That would be one of this weekend’s referees, Kermit Quisenberry.

Why aren’t more mothers naming their boys Kermit these days? Look what futures they might have: professional soccer referee or singing partner to Debbie Harry:

There’s more, thankfully, on this weekend’s match at MLS.net and really anywhere else but here. Finally for you gay men who visited with the search-word promise of “Rainbow Connection,” well, this won’t let you down, will it?

Big Dogs Love the Sounders

2009-05-14T19:52:00.001-07:00

What one does after an afternoon game...

Hours, um, minutes, er, seconds (?) of fun!

Tickets! Get Your Tickets!

2009-05-12T23:17:00.000-07:00

Barcelona, Baby! Is anyone getting tired of that yet? Oh, good. Cause I'm not!

Ticket info for the Sounders - Barcelona is in: Tickets will go on sale to the general public on Monday, June 15th at 10 a.m. Tickets will be available at www.SoundersFC.com or by calling 1-800-745-3000.

But... I bet if you register at SoundersFC.com you may get a handy dandy presale notification email. Since I didn’t buy my season tickets in my name and registered at that link and still got the Chelsea presale info, I’m thinking that is true.

Speaking of ticket sales, 60,000 tickets have been sold for the Sounders – Chelsea game on July 18. With only 7,000 left that makes a total of 67,000 seats. (me=smart) That’s max capacity at Qwest Field. I can hear the roar of the crowd now...

And if you’re dying for just a little more ticket trivia tonight, please note that the Sounders FC home supporters will be increasing by 4000. The remaining seats in the lower bowl above the south end will be sold for games June 28 and thereafter.

Go Sounders!

Galaxy Recap: Sober Version

2009-05-12T00:02:00.000-07:00

Round 2 of the Galaxy match lookback. I wish that I wasn’t going to talk about the referees, but I must. This article on MLS.net demonstrated that I was far from alone in waking up thinking not only whether sushi at 9pm was a good idea but also what the hell the referees were thinking.

Conversation post-game over beers:
Unnamed Blogger: “I’m going to start a referee review with ratings and rants!” (bonus points for consanancy)

Best Friend: “No, don’t do it. Those guys don’t get paid enough to be called out.”

“But they deserve to be held accountable!”

Other friend: “Yeah, think about it. In such a low-scoring game, the referees exercise huge control over the outcome of the game. One call or lack of call can have a huge impact when you only score one or two goals during the entire match. It’s not like basketball or even American football. Each call matters.”

“Besidess, they’re not minor league umpires, for god’s sake, laboring about the country on a paltry per diem and working at Home Depot in the off-season. If they suck, they should lose their gig, just like anyone.”

“Some of those players are only making $30K – if that. Waitress!”

Right. That’s where I stand today, sober even. The referees deserve to be called out like anyone else on the pitch. I will therefore proclaim Tim Wyland, Sunday’s referee, to officially suck.

Sigi and I are not alone in our criticism. John Carver, Toronoto FC’s former coach, complained about Tim Weyland's abysmal performance not long before he resigned from the MLS. Hmmm...

Galaxy Post-Game

2009-05-10T22:51:00.000-07:00

"Disappointed in the Refereeing”

Said Sigi. Said many thousands of fans. But my throat is hoarse, and I can say it no more. (Sorry to the preteens sitting in the row in front of me). Besides this picture speaks louder than my words.

Beautiful Day, Beautiful Fans

Oh to not be layered! Noon felt a little early. But the afternoon sun was a treat, and the 28,000+ fans were amazing as usual.

About Passion and Control

The Sounders had passion. The referee had no control. One fed the other until the yellow shirt started flashing cards like my mother playing poker. I was proud to see the Sounders keeping each others backs like a team should. I was especially warm and fuzzy to see Freddie Ljungberg waving his finger in the face of the referees and getting right into the mix during the James Riley situation. Passion and physicality... I’ve said it before. It’s what I like to see out there.

Man of the Match?

The man of the match is the opposing goalkeeper?! The one who kicked the ball out of play in the 88th minute and flopped on to the ground the burn the clock? Weak. Totally weak.

The Shirts Come Off

Thank you! Are you guys reading this? Or are we just putting out the right vibe? Either way, keep those shirts coming off. As it should be!

Sounders - Galaxy Highlights

2009-05-10T21:58:00.000-07:00

Even if you don't understand Spanish, these highlights are worth watching for the exuberant exclamation of "Goooaaallll!" Two times over, unfortunately.

Maximum Capacity at Qwest Field?

2009-05-08T21:28:00.000-07:00

If any of you are wondering whether the upper level at Qwest will be opened for the Chelsea and Barcelona friendlies against Sounders FC this summer, MLS.net holds the likely answer: yes.

Back in 2006, the first year Barcelona FC came to play a US tour (they came back in 2007 and 2008 too), they had the highest average attendance for any club tour in U.S. history: 80,734 fans on average in three matches.

That included three sold-out crowds: at the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum (vs. CD Guadalajara, 1-1 on Aug. 6 in front of 92,650), at Houston's Reliant Stadium (vs. Club America, 3-3 on Aug. 9, with a crowd of 70,550), and at Giants Stadium in E. Rutherford, NJ (vs. NY Red Bulls, 4-1 on Aug. 12, in front of 79,002).

Let's max out Qwest Field at 72K and bring the crowd that these matches deserve.

Barcelona FC for Friendly "B" on August 5

2009-05-08T11:42:00.000-07:00

It’s official: "B" is for Barcelona!

Barcelona FC is coming to Qwest Field on Wednesday, August 5! That is Un-Be-Liev-Able.

Check out SoundersFC.com if you don’t believe me or you want to see what Sounders fans are saying about the news.

Tickets will go on sale in a few weeks: find complete info here. Now go run and jump for joy…

Rumors... Aggregated

2009-05-07T23:12:00.000-07:00

More Seats at Qwest?
MLS-Rumors.net is “for the time in between games.” Since we are not baseball, there is a lot of that. And with a Sunday match this week, there’s a whole extra day to fill! Egads! Fortunately there are plenty of rumors and general complaints in the Soundersphere to occupy our time.

So the Soundwave Band is confirmed to move from the South End to the North End, and 50 more 13-game ticket packages were offered for sale and snapped up faster than Dani Alves fakes his first dive. But MLS-rumors.net reports that Sounders FC have been interviewing for additional concession and security jobs at Qwest Field. Are there even more seats on the way? Stay tuned...

Season Ticket “B” for Barcelona FC?
GoSounders.com reports my favorite rumor of the day. Will those bland looking tickets labeled Seattle Sounders versus team "B" and "C" become tickets of gold? If they turn out to be tickets for a Sounders FC-Barcelona FC friendly, then yes!!!

Sunday Kickoff at Noon
Not a rumor - Just a reminder friends! Get up and get your game on, after you tell Mom you love her, of course. It’s a whole new take on “soccer mom.” In this case, probably mom first, soccer second.

The Secret behind Fredy’s Slump

2009-05-06T20:40:00.000-07:00

There’s been a lot of speculation this week about what it’s going to take to get Fredy Montero back on track. It’s made me wonder what it was that got him off track in the first place. And I think I’ve figured it out. It’s quite obvious, in fact.

It’s the shoes. Yep, those red boots that he’s been sporting lately.

In the beginning we had this:

Lovely goal scoring feet shod in plain ol’ neutral-toned shoes. The kind that left defenders standing with their jaws dropped open. Then, around the time of the Kansas City game, those shoes came off, literally:

And things changed. Next thing I knew, Fredy came out with red boots on. Sure, they catch the eye. And red symbolizes all kinds of sexy things like lust, courage, danger even. But it also represents sin and guilt and volatility. After all, red cars are statistically more likely to be involved in accidents. And it sure seems like Fredy’s crashed recently.

What happened? Why the change? Don’t soccer players have the same superstitions as the rest of professional athletes? I see enough players crossing themselves as they run onto the pitch or step up to a corner kick to think that’s true. Don’t mess with a good thing, Fredy! Go back to the old shoes and leave the red boots to Le Hawk:

Chelsea Tickets Presale Info

2009-05-05T16:45:00.000-07:00

I'm sure that most of y'all are season ticket holders and therefore have a death-grip on your Chelsea-Sounders tickets. But... if you gave your tickets away to your friend whose wedding you were unable to make at the last minute or to your best friend as a (successful) pacifier after you slept with his girlfriend or some other CRAZY reason, you do have a chance to recoup them:

Presale began TODAY at 10am so GET ON IT. The presale password is 3BLUES (as in you will have the triple blues if you don't get these tix).

Public sales begin Monday, May 11th at 10am.

Seattle Sounders Fans Rule- But what about the MLS?

2009-05-05T14:08:00.000-07:00

We Seattle Sounders fans tend to be a little over the top when it comes to talking about how great not only our team is, but how great we are. We sing, we cheer, we all wear scarves, we stand the entire match, and sometimes we dress up like gorillas. We gloat about the envy other cities and their teams must feel for our tremendous fan-dome. And, rightly so, as our season tickets sold out quickly and every home game has been sold out.

Watching the game against the Fire the other day on the high-def tv, I saw things from a little different perspective, however. The stadium looked empty. n fact, from a certain vantage point, there seemed to be more people in the band than fans in the stadium. If these other cities don't get up to par, I don't think it bodes well for the future of the MLS. The still "undefeated" Fire have averaged a measly 10,900 over their last few games. Oh, excuse me 10,901. Some people are speculating that the Chicago-ites "don't know where Toyota Park (their home stadium) is". What up with that Chicago? (If Obama is really promoting the World Cup, I think he should also be pushing for the MLS! He's gone to at least one basketball game as president, why not a MLS game? I Obama, just like many other people, but I'm just saying...)

Look at him here at the Wizards Game- he's drinking a beer, hanging out, relaxing....for the love of God, will someone PLEASE give him a free ticket to an MLS game?

MLS Players Have to Start Taking Their Shirts Off

2009-05-04T17:50:00.000-07:00

It's such a tradition to exchange jerseys that Addidas officially made it a part of their ad campaign. If men get to look at the cheerleaders, women and gay men should get to look at someone in an equal level of body fitness and shape, namely the players. Check out McBride below:

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Not so bad is what I'm thinking. Not so bad at all.

Chicago Fire: The Day After

2009-05-03T18:26:00.000-07:00

Set Play Sigh of Relief:
Although I’ve tried to ignore it up until now, negative incidents early in the game bode poorly for the Sounders. Keller’s red card in the 29th minute against Kansas City. Montero’s wide open chip shot sent wide in the early minutes at Chivas. And now a yellow card in the first minute at Chicago. Ouch.

Tyrone Marshall didn’t let it get him down though. His toe poke into the back of the net off of Freddie Ljungberg’s corner kick in the 74th minute caused five adults to simultaneously leap off the edge of their seats, throw their arms in the air, and breathe a collective sigh of relief. Whew. Thank you, Tyrone (and Freddie for the nice corner kick and Le Hawk for earning it)!

Montero and Patience:
My compadres and I were guessing about a lineup change for the second period during halftime last night. I put my vote in for Le Hawk coming on for Montero. I was wrong... until the latter’s red card. A gift perhaps? I thought so.

David Falk over at the Seattle Soccer Examiner has a great poll running asking what it will take to turn things around for Montero. You can probably guess how I voted. Check it out here and have your say!

The “Undefeated” Fire

2009-05-03T16:18:00.000-07:00

I’ll take a draw any day over a loss, but I wonder how Fire fans are feeling about five draws in the last seven games. The descriptor “undefeated” seems a bit out of place to me. Yes, I know it’s technically correct, but a record of 2-0-5 can’t feel that great. It probably feels a little flat. Just coasting along in neutral. Not really bad. Not really good either. Kinda like abstinence.

McBride gets it. Back in the days of straight win-or-lose, things were more like this:

Obama Makes US World Cup Bid Personal

2009-05-01T22:51:00.000-07:00

If Obama is personally writing letters in support of the US bid to host the World Cup in 2018 as reported on ESPN, then this young man has a lot to cheer about. And so do I and maybe you too... if you like the idea of getting decked in red, white, and blue at Xbox Pitch newly refurbished with natural grass.

Rabbit Portends Hat Trick Against Chicago

2009-05-01T22:05:00.000-07:00

“Here we go with your weekly chance to be the most boring person in your bar or family.”

It’s official. After two trial runs of Prost Amerika Soccer’s Meaningless Statistical Guide to the Game, I am fully prepared to designate them Genius Soccer Blogger Extraordinaire.

And while you’re pondering the number of left foot, right foot, and header goals Sounders FC and the Fire have tallied up so far, might I suggest that you brush up on your definition of Hat Trick and add a few more meaningless statistics to your pregame repertoire?

While I’m sure you discerning soccer enthusiasts know that a hat trick refers to a single player scoring three goals in a single game, did you know that a player achieves a “Perfect Hat Trick” when the three goals scored are from his right foot, left foot, and head? Moreover you can accomplish a hat trick of hat tricks by scoring hat tricks in three consecutive matches.

So here's hoping for a Sounders FC hat trick tomorrow night in Chicago!

PS – Huge bonus points to any Superfan who makes this their regular Sounders FC home game costume (buy here for a mere $700!). An esoteric costume is an especially bold one, and I guarantee you will not be thought “boring.”

Soccer Chicks

2009-04-30T20:48:00.000-07:00

What exactly does this photo have to do with Seattle Sounders FC? Well, nothing, of course. But Google Analytics says that traffic is pretty light on Thursdays and that the posts with pictures of semi-naked chicks get a lot of hits.

So, let's find a connection here... imagine this team of soccer ladies is going to play an exhibition match against Sounders FC rain or shine (hopefully rain) some Sunday afternoon in July. All proceeds will go to Nothing But Nets and their campaign against malaria. Freddie Ljungberg will hook up with the chick front-row second from the left, but she’ll turn out to be allergic to dogs so it doesn’t work out. Brad Evans will be stalked by a Cosmo Girl who fell in love with his “Playa Profile,” but he won’t settle for less than back row, far right. Lastly, “Mandy” will be there and will finally win Evan Brown’s heart despite aggressive advances by middle row third from right.

Enjoy, boys (and girls).

Sounders FC, Swine Flu and You - All you Need to Know

2009-04-30T12:35:00.000-07:00

What this means for you......

1. Can I still eat hot dogs before after and during the game?

I don't know-can you?

2. Does beer work like an immunization?

Just stay away from Corona, Pacifico, and Dos Equis and you may very well be be ok. Tequila should be avoided, too.

3. Can I come to games even if I am sick?

Not if you're in section 132 or plan on getting beverages in the vicinity.

4. Are there any precautions I can take before the game?

Again, if you are in Section 132, I recommend gas masks, gloves, and a can of lysol for good measure.

*******For those of you wanting more information about the swine flu, please check the following link, which will have all of the information you need. www.doihaveswineflu.com

Sebastian "The Hawk" Le Toux

2009-04-29T21:05:00.000-07:00

His coaches and the familiar media like to refer to him as "Seba," but here at SoundersBoard we officially christen Sebestain Le Toux "The Hawk." And the hawk certainly swept down on his opponents last night in the US Open Cup play-in game at Starfire Sports Complex in Tukwila. (Yeah, so Starfire is not a bad name for a venue, but let's face it... Tukwila? Everything that the Seattle Sounders FC have going for them in terms of their cosmopolitan appeal, their international feel, and their world-class support... is lost at Starfire Sports Complex.)

Two goals, two assists, and an accent so thick he needs subtitles a la Brad Pitt in Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Le Hawk was so money last night he ended up in the sports section of the USA Today, America's most famous LCD newspaper (unwelcomed on hotel-room stoops daily across the nation). There was nothing unwelcome about Le Hawk's showing last night however. A Sounder through and through and arguably the hardest working and most sacrificed man on the pitch.

So has Le Hawk made Sigi Schmid's decision of who will start on Saturday more difficult? Sigi says:

“Always, that’s the way it should be. That’s what he wants to do. You want to have a team that has 17, 18, 19 guys that can start for you, because it’s a long season. You never know who’s going to get hurt, and who’s going to miss, so this is a good game for people to build their confidence. Seb certainly presents us alternatives, and it was nice to be able to play him up front, where he’s obviously more comfortable than he is in a wide position.”

If only Sigi considered that hawks are widely reputed to have visual acuity several times that of a normal human being and attack by sudden dashes from a concealed perch, then the question would be a no-brainer.

Kasey Keller: Iconic. Seattle Sounders Fans? Perhaps.

2009-04-28T20:35:00.000-07:00

“Bottom line: If you're a soccer fan living in America, you're doing yourself a great disservice if you don't make an attempt to take in a Seattle Sounders FC game. The overwhelming fan support, the sold-out crowds, the insane noise level inside Qwest Field -- it's enough to bring a tear to one's eye...”

Say it, brother!

I can’t even turn around without feeling proud of Seattle fans. (Check out gorilla man and other original fan photos below for some tear-jerking humanity, Seattle-style.)

Fortunately, the media are singing my song. This article on SI.com is full of superlatives (not expletives, friends – those would be found on the blogs of San Jose’s superfans): greatest, wildest, most intelligent. Stop, really, enough about me. Let’s talk about what you think of me.

Seriously though, Kasey Keller is pure class. So if you’re in the mood to feel all warm and fuzzy about being a Sounders FC fan while also polishing up your league talking-points for this week’s debate down at the pub, then this is the article to read. Moreover, you may just get a glimpse into where Kasey Keller thinks he might be in two, five, even thirty years from now. And if you are a true Sounders FC fan, you’re going to like what you hear.

P.S. Speaking of songs... if you missed Becksta’s genius Kasey Keller tribute a few posts back, do check it out here.

Guerillas in the Street

2009-04-28T15:22:00.000-07:00

Or at least in the stadium and why wouldn't there be a gorilla or two marching around? I hope that he at least had his id with him so he could drink one of those $8.25 beers that I may have accidentally consumed at the game.

I'm in the mood to crop this picture a little and make a little motivational poster of sorts, but I can't seem to come up with anything truly inspiring...caption it for me and I promise to make a stunning poster.

Where to Learn Your Sounders FC Chants

2009-04-27T22:51:00.000-07:00

So I ordered me up a helping of DVR last week and swapped out my cable box. Genius, I must say. Or idiotic not to have done it sooner, you might say. There’s no replacing the experience at Xbox pitch, but re-watching the match in high-definition during those dry days without Sounders action is a beautiful thing for a superfan. Plus, you may have noticed I’m not at the top of my blogging game the day-after-a-home-game. We at SoundersBoard are often in need of a little recovery time. Good thing you're not coming here for the play by play commentary.

Moreover, without said DVR I would have missed the pregame report from Jen Mueller. Jen Mueller is like FSN’s version of Craig Sager, and I love Craig Sager. (If you don’t know who Craig Sager is, well, he’s the guy on the sidelines at NBA and MLB games in the best suits. Like the ones you can get at LeRoy Menswear down on 2nd and Pike and that have been adorning pimps for decades.)

Jen enlightened us all by interviewing the capo for Emerald City Supporters outside the classic Triangle Pub (not to be confused with the meat-market Triangle in Fremont or the Ould Triangle on Greenwood). So if you were wondering who leads the ECS in singing the first verse of the Perry Como’s Seattle at kick-off or maybe the Cock Sparrer song Take 'Em All, now you know. “Mommy, what’s a cock sparrer?” The answer to that, you remain on your own with, unless Jen explains it during the next pregame show.

You can practice up on Sounders FC songs and chants at ECS’s excellent website. You can also learn about all that great tifo down in the South End. “In Keller We Trust” rang true for me.

Some lively chap in my section, I’ll presume not an official capo, but enthusiastic nonetheless, was leading fans in:

OOOOHHH TO!
OOOOHHH TO BE!
OOOOOOHHH TO BE A SOUNDER!!

But my personal favorite remains:

We came to drink, we came to sing whoa whoa
We came to drink, we came to sing whoa whoa
We came to drink, we came to sing ECS from one thirteen!
Whoa, ooohhh, oohh

(Squeeze in any section number that you are sitting in, of course.)

Signing off with:

I’m Sounders ‘till I die,
I’m Sounders ‘till I die.
I know I am, I’m sure I am.
I’m Sounders ‘till I die.

Clowning Around, Get Your Hands Up, and Fans Supporting Colombia

2009-04-27T18:39:00.000-07:00

Not of all the fans took the game as seriously as the masked avengers seen in an earlier post.

Yet others opted for the traditional hand/fist up in celebration of the first goal.

Of course, you also have the fearlessly festive "Colombians" rooting for their countrymen....

Check back later this week for more original FAN PHOTOS and if you happen to see yourself here, let us know.

SUPERFANZ

2009-04-26T18:33:00.000-07:00

A Pictorial Welcome Back to the Pitch For Our Man Kasey Keller

2009-04-25T14:45:00.000-07:00

Today is the day that Kasey Keller steps back into the net for Sounders FC. And that makes me feel kinda like this (and it's also inspired my attire for this evening's match):

After all, when I join 28,000 of my Sounders brothers and sisters at Xbox Pitch tonight, I’ll know that the man in the black and gray is back in charge of the boys in green:

And if it comes down to it, we can count on him for some of this:

But as Sigi Schmid said this week, a good goalkeeper is about presence as much as anything. So good luck stepping up to this, Earthquakes. He's going to squeeze your little heads:

I'm betting we'll be throwing our arms in the air in victory by match end:

And thanking Kasey for his top-notch skills, and also for the compliment he gave us in the NY Time’s Goal blog when he pointed out that the Sounders “play before an educated crowd. You won’t hear any big cheers when I kick the ball far!”

Yikes. If that’s true, Kasey, I am deeply sorry. Maybe that was back in these days when the girls with their tight-rolled jeans screamed, “Wow! He kicked the ball far!”

Kasey is the man.

PS - Expect to continue to see me find tangential ways to post pictures of Kasey with a mullet until the end of time.

SoundersBoard Loves Mandy, Do You?

2009-04-24T12:01:00.000-07:00

Sugar-voiced teenage Mandy, an American in Argentina, had a couple of hours to kill before going to watch the Sounders preseason practice way back when. So she casually whips up a song about her crush: Evan Brown. It ends up, as so much evidence of our good and bad behaviors do, on YouTube.

What a sweetheart!

Fast-forward to Taylor Graham’s From the Pitch blog on April 10. (Earlier From the Pitch posts offer photos of the bare-chested young crush in question balancing a cabbage on his foot. Love it.)

Taylor wants to get 20K hits on Mandy’s video by June 1. Today’s count is just under 6K, so we’ve got some work to do, Sounders Fans! Have another listen, send it to your friends, and play it at your pregame party! Click, click click!

I fully intended to plug this effort when I thought the campaign might be floundering - maybe next week sometime. But this morning, I did in fact wake up with Mandy's song in my head. I laughed when Taylor Graham claimed that it happened to him. Right. That's cute, Taylor. It's just cute, cute, cute around MLS these days. And yet there it was as I was walking to work: “Evan brown hmmm mm see you frown. Hum ma mmm.”

Plus I thought with Brad Evan’s getting all the cutesy attention from CosmoGirl's (this is linked from the mls.net homepage!?) MLS Feature, maybe Evan Brown was feeling a little left out.

Thanks to SoundersBoard reader “tequilabb” for the reminder to spread the word! You can join the group in support of Mandy here.

Chivas Laid an Egg

2009-04-23T23:12:00.000-07:00

Sometimes joy arrives in unexpected forms. Emails about eggs? Subject line read: “Chivas Laid an Egg.” Lo! They’ve cracked.

Toronto, I take back all the nasty things I said (for today, and today only).

Sounders FC defeats Toronto FC. Chivas USA defeats Sounders FC. Toronto FC defeats Chivas USA. It’s teleological, baby.

After learning the following from MLSnet.com, I actually felt bad for those dirty Reds:

The win was the first of the season for TFC at BMO Field (egads), and their first-ever victory against the Red-and-White after going 0-4 against the Western Conference side over the previous two seasons (sad).

And lest you need a reminder, "Toronto also became the first team this season to defeat first-place Chivas, who entered the match atop the MLS overall table with a 4-0-1 record."

For all that satisfaction you longed for last weekend, take in the sight of a ball going past Zach Thornton and into the Chivas net...

And breathe a nice big sigh. It helps to have our loss avenged so quickly. Just in time for this weekend’s match. Onward!

Sounders FC: My Game Day Mission #547

2009-04-23T13:08:00.000-07:00

1. Get Festive and by festive I mean, drunk.
2. Find scarf and adorn it gracefully on body.
3. Do a pre-victory naked dance around the apartment.
4. Go to game and/or pre-funk
5. Convince other festive fans to show me some skin for the ole bloggerooni
6. Watch raptly without spilling my beer as the Sounders open a can of Whup-ass
7. Pretend I am famous, wickedly hot sports reporter and interview enthusiastic fans.
8. Drink
9. Show at least one deep error in judgment, safely make it home and pass out while blogging, beer in my hand.

******Repeat every home game day for the rest of the season, or at least until July.

More Things to Love about Sounders FC: A National Fan Base

2009-04-23T08:59:00.000-07:00

I was glad to see that Nick Green’s soccer column this week exploring what to love and hate in the MLS found only things to love about our Sounders FC: copious crowds and unmatched enthusiasm, Kasey Keller and Fredy Montero. Check.

But I’ve found more to love, oh so much more. My heartfelt love goes out to SoCal Sound - “a group of passionate Seattle Sounders supporters who live in Southern California – but bleed blue and green.” Sing it!

And if you did a double-take during last Saturday’s game against Chivas when the camera panned over a section of fans proudly holding their Sounders FC scarves aloft, you weren’t alone. “Wha? Where did all that blue and green in a sea of red come from?” I love how the Sounders Flag in this photo is obscuring the banner in the background that reads "Home of Chivas USA."

Seriously, how many emerging sports clubs of any kind can you think of that have groups of supporters outside of their home state? I’ve found more than one Packer bar outside of Wisconsin, but I’m quite sure that out-of-state support didn’t exist a mere two months into the first season (sure, that was way back in 1919...).

Bottom line: We’re Sounders ‘till we die… no matter what state we live in!

Fredy's Future?

2009-04-21T21:59:00.000-07:00

For an inside scoop on what the future may hold for Fredy Montero, check out yesterday's article from SI.com. A little European play, perhaps?

Can’t blame the kid, can you? I mean, look at the shit they’ve got going on over there:

Unbelievable! Beauty.

But back to Fredy... I'm looking, as we all are, for him to be back on his game this Saturday night. It's not time for Europe yet. The Sounders need you, baby. Let's go.

Monkey Business

2009-04-21T13:30:00.000-07:00

As the "Flight of Conchords" croon:

It's Business Time! Here's hoping the Sounders Rock the Earthquakes this Saturday!

Greatest Goals in Seattle Sounders History

2009-04-20T21:28:00.000-07:00

The Sounders have scored no goals in the past two games, so a little reminder of Sounders goal-scorin' history is in order. It's also 4/20 today, whatever that means, and a slow-moving, eight-minute video set to an awesome Joe Satriani guitar track fits the bill nicely. Sweet.

Furthermore, my cohort Becksta wants to see some shorter shorts out on the pitch, so here ya go. And speaking of pitch, how about a reminder of how nice it is to play on an actual soccer pitch rather than the an American football field complete with 100 yards of paint and SEAHAWKS branded endzones? You can barely see the box for chrissakes!

Ahhh... let's hope for some Roger Levesque-esque goals this weekend. Whaddya say, boys? Alright!

Fredy Shooting Blanks- Beck's Wrap-Up

2009-04-20T15:35:00.001-07:00

Since you know, I am not really a super-fan, definitely not qualified to be a sports reporter and am lacking pretty much any reason other than my own foolish pleasure in writing brief blog posts, I feel kind of funny giving my game re-cap, but my imaginary fans have demanded it.

At the start of the game, it seemed to me that Fredy Montero was eager to score after having his sexual allegations dropped, but those initial shots weren't on target. Later, when the game started to shift the other direction, he couldn't even get near enough to the box to attempt anything....oh, he finally got in the box, but then he just shot blanks.....

Maybe the Chivas uniforms got too distracting for the players like they did for me. Were they soccer players or candy stripers? Their playing proved otherwise but I if I had one of those in my closet, it would be going on the Christmas tree for sure.

After the game I went through it my head and realized for possibly the first time as a new observer of the game, how integral and stellar Keller really is to our team. I think Fredy I and Freddy II need to work more cohesively as a team, and the rest of the Sounders need to get shorter shorts.

A Little Thing Called Desire

2009-04-19T18:55:00.000-07:00

I want to eat a whole Dungeness crab for dinner tonight. I want my dog to stop eating dish towels and puking them up in the middle of the night. I want my frickin’ sinuses to clear up.

However, none of those things (well, maybe the last one) would make the list of my desires. The things I long for. That I itch for. That I eagerly pursue. My hunger. My lust and lasciviousness.

Nope. Crab. Dog puking. Stuffy sinuses. Not on the list.

Strangely, it seems that beating Chivas USA was not on the Sounders’ list of desires last night either.

They just seemed a little... well, flat. Like they were jet lagged, or ate too much Mexican food, or expended too much mojo having sex before the match. Like they were forced to share a locker room with the Chivas Girls, a case of champagne, ten dozen raw oysters, and three hours to kill. (For background on this observation, see Freddie Lungberg’s comments on sex before games here. And then add this article to the list of reasons why the Seattle Times should quickly follow the PI into online obscurity and leave real news reporting to even the moderately qualified.)

I know, I’m a superfan. I’m not supposed to criticize. And I’m not, not really. I’m not telling you that they weren’t attacking or didn’t have the right people in the lineup or just couldn’t recover momentum after Montero swung his chip shot wide left in the seventh minute (seventh minute!@$?). All I’m saying is that watching the game was just kinda... blah. Like driving through the Dakotas on your way out West. You know it’s gonna be good, but at this moment, well... it’s not.

Things To Do Before a Sounders FC Away Game

2009-04-18T18:17:00.000-07:00

Feed the dog, take him outside, or otherwise happily settle him into the corner of the room.
Chill your beverages: beer, champagne, smoothies for the kids, mojitos, or Blue Hawaii's (if you want to drink the team colors).
Don your jersey, scarf, $5 t-shirt from QFC, or neon green wig from last Halloween + old green t-shirt + blue vest. No need to be fancy folks. Just be creative with the blue and green!
Switch over from The Sound of Music, er, I mean the other MLS game on Fox Soccer Channel to KONG HD as your crew begins to gather around your big screen TV.
Make fun of Lisa Gangel and her name during the pregame show. ("To gangle" means to move awkwardly or ungracefully. Add that to the list of unfortunate names, right after Tom Dickhaus.)
Decide which Chivas USA player will be the official target of rabid and unfair criticism. Begin blasting with virulent vitriol.
Move to the edge of your seats, raise your scarves, voices, and green-colored drinks, and cheer like you were at Xbox Pitch. They can feel it, baby. Get it on.

Go Sounders!

Kasey Keller- Song

2009-04-17T11:16:00.000-07:00

We love Kasey Keller. He's local, he's hot (albeit not so much with a mullet), and he's a world-class keeper, but did you know there was a fricking song about him? Check it out!
Personally, I think it's a little cheesey, but hey the last time I checked I didn't have any songs named after me! Seattle's got a great music scene and I think someone should take up the mantle and get a new song going for the man!

Poach Post

2009-04-16T23:00:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I know, kinda weak that this post is purely a compilation of other cool info I found elsewhere on the web today. But the fact is that I’m on day six of being frickin’ sick, and I just don’t have it in me tonight.

So, here we go...

First up, Happy Birthday Freddie! Karl Fredrik "Freddie" Ljungberg was born April 16, 1977.

And this photo is all about the tattoo, obviously.

Next up, another priceless photo of our one and only:

Kasey Keller!

Taking us back in time! Remember kids, mullets were still cool back then. Especially when you rocked one while cruising in your Iroc Z28 with the custom paint job (like the one I drove to my junior prom with a case of Boone’s Farm in the hatch. Sweet!).

And finally, a bizarre and slightly uncomfortable segment from a local newscast down in LA. Sigh, local news. You just love to be base, don’t you? Must you always go for the lowest common denominator (LCD)? But I will admit, despite the fact I will be vigorously cheering against these dudes this weekend, I found this video very entertaining.

Props to Laurie over at the Seattle Offside blog for these two items above. Check out her Chivas-Sounders Match Preview for some proper soccer commentary. (You know, the kind you don’t get here.)

The Dirt is In! Montero Scene Revealed!

2009-04-16T21:55:00.000-07:00

Via the Slog, the whole lurid thing is up at the Seattle Times and has been for about a day. I'd read some details but had no idea the juice was loose. Here's some key points I picked up. Following are key quotes from the paper:
"The woman, who had lived in Colombia and speaks Spanish fluently, told police that she met Montero when they went out to a nightclub with several others on March 14."

She said he tried to force her to have sex, but she fought his advances.
The prosecutor's report says, however, that she didn't report this incident to police until the third time they interviewed her. She later said "she didn't consider this rape since he stopped when she told him to stop," the prosecutors' report says.

The prosecutor's report says the record of the messages shows she repeatedly sent him friendly messages, including photos of the two together at the nightclub. One of the photos showed Montero kissing her on the cheek. She also wished him luck on an upcoming soccer match, added him as a "friend" on her Facebook account, and at one point invited Montero out to a bar, but he didn't respond.

Then on March 22, the reports say, Montero called her around 2:30 a.m. on March 22 to tell her that he had found her necklace and invited her over.

She told police that she went back against her better judgment because one of his teammates would be there as well.

At some point, the teammate left and the woman claims that Montero dragged her up the stairs, removed her clothes and raped her while she cried for help

.

The bolding is mine. Like the prosecutors and most Sounders fans, I find it quite interesting that she did not think she was raped before the opening game on March 19, but reported that she was later, possibly after realizing just who she had be-friended, arguably the best player in the MLS.

After running into him once, she claimed he was stalking her, but wasn't she the one sending him repeated texts about her necklace? (to which he did not respond- who was stalking who is all I'm saying.)

I hope I'm not letting my love for the Sounders color my vision to greener pastures, but in this case, I really think the law made the right call.

Top 10 Things True Sounders FC Fans Don't Do

2009-04-15T21:19:00.000-07:00

Now that we've endured our first loss, it seems appropriate to discuss the Top 10 Things True Sounders Fans Don't Do. Bring on your comments folks, let's hear what you think!

10. Wear pink or silver or any other non-blue-and-green-colored variation of Sounders gear just because you think you look cuter and/or cooler. You don't, you faker. So far, I don't think the Sounders have sold out a la the Mariners and Seahawks, so this is for future reference (since the Mariner's home opener reminded me how lame this is).
9. Wear high heels to a match (unless you're a big hairy guy and it's part of your Sounders get-up). But you ladies, c'mon. I know there are a lot of dudes at Sounders matches, but wearing high heels is not the way to catch their eye. If you do wear heels and you bite it coming up the stairs as you try to execute a turn into your row whilst double-fisting Mike's Hard Lemonades for your sorority sisters, well... you will be appropriately mocked.
8. Wear your Premiere League scarf instead of a Sounders FC one because it's good for picking up chicks afterwards. "Yeah, I've been to England. Eng-LAND. It's an island, ya know. The Sounders, they're alright, but they don't compare. You wanna wear my scarf? Sure, baby. Okay, that's enough. Now give it back before your spill your Cosmo on it."
(Okay, moving on from the sartorial no-no's. True Sounders fans do not...)
7. Wander aimlessly through the concourse asking, "Where are the garlic fries" and "Why didn't I get my Kasey Keller bobblehead at the gate?"
6. Throw shit on the field like those Toronto lame-os. Class, baby. Class.
5. Brag to all your friends at work of the inaugural game, "Oh my god, it was sooo awesome!" and then fail to be able to name the opposing team when queried. "Huh?"
4. Discriminate against Freddie Ljungberg's playing abilities based on his age, the fact that he's retired from the international game, or that he is also (whew, it’s getting warm in here all of sudden – must be the laptop on my knees) an underwear model. And we're not talking Hanes either.
3. Let your lack of singing ability stop you from joining the Emerald City Supporters in their rendition of Perry Como's "Seattle" (Memorize the lyrics here). It's not really singing folks. It's a combination of shouting and chanting, and with a minimum of 20 people participating, it sounds just fine.
2. Boo the home team. And since booing the visiting team and/or refs can't be distinguished from booing the home team, best not do it at all. M'kay?
1. Leave early. Goddam it, unless your house is burning down, you better stay in your seat until the bitter end (presuming it is bitter if you are considering leaving early).

New Contender

2009-04-14T22:29:00.000-07:00

Come on everybody, I know you can't see his face too well, but I'm thinking the guy with the hair has gotta to be the hottest fan.....and still proudly adorned the same way though the game was almost over.

Seattle on the International Scene: Thank You Sounders FC

2009-04-14T18:18:00.000-07:00

Sounders FC in the New York Times. Not just in the sports section either...

Sounders FC on FIFA Futbol Mundial:

Gotta love it. (Doh! Can't get this to embed properly. Here's the URL: http://www.soundersfc.com/media-library/Videos/Features/2009/03-March/090330-Futbol-Mundial.aspx)

Sounders FC on Al Jazeera:

Sure, it's Al Jazeera English, but you get my point.

Thinking about it now, it's not surprising that soccer is what is putting Seattle on the international map. I wouldn't have predicted it a few months ago, but soccer has been deconstructed to do amazing things before, including bringing about world peace (or on the flip side, inciting wars). Check out this Washington Post article for a lil' scholarship, you superfan nerds.

Converts

2009-04-12T17:38:00.000-07:00

I don't know if it is all of the proselytizing that is going on about soccer and the Sounders in Seattle, but even the Sea-gals are on board, well, a couple of them anyway....sorry about the lack of cleavage, boys...they covered it with their scarves and I was too shy to ask for a better photo opp....

Fanz

2009-04-12T17:29:00.000-07:00

These are my original pics of some of Seattle's coolest fans. Not sure who the dude is in the back of the two blue-headed girls, but that's quite all right. Also, the kid with the mohawk was totally awesome and may just have the "raddest" mom ever.

We lost the game last night, but our MOJO is still firmly intact. I would like to stress the fact that every single fan in the house was standing throughout the entire game. True, the singing could use some work, "Let's go Sounders" was a constant chant, but there was nothing for the team or the fans to be ashamed of during the match.

Wizards' Weak Victory

2009-04-12T11:59:00.000-07:00

"Just thinking about next Saturday... bet your bottom dollar that next Saturday... they'll be sun."

Yes, today is looking gray and lonely. But I'm not blue. I'm still rave green. I'm keepin' my chin up, baby. (You too, Freddie.)

Personally I don't care for being undefeated. Too much pressure. And maybe a sign of not enough competition either. I heard up and down last week how the Sounders had a big red bullseye painted on them. They had the best record in the league, the most buzz, and the biggest loudest fan base. Every team wanted to take them down.

Fine then. Let Kansas City be the ones.

Let the Wizards have their meek victory.

Their weak, barely there ascendancy.

Their sad celebration of mediocrity.

A limping display from a midwest nonentity.

Conjured up by Hobbit-like weinies.

(Nice headband, you pussy.

Your tug is proof of your inferiority).

Seattle will be better off for it next Saturday. Pressure relieved. Perspective gained. Desire to win fueled. That bright red bullseye off their chests. And we'll be with them, goddam right. No matter what boys, we'll be with you.

Onward Sounders! We've only just begun!

TFC Mojo

2009-04-11T13:35:00.000-07:00

Did the Sounders FC steal Toronto's MOJO last weekend? I think the answer is a definitive yes.

Random quotes from the Edmonton Sun about the Game:

"Opener was an Ugly Lesson" (sub-header)

"A huge letdown for everyone, players, staff and fans in particular," coach John Carver.

The Revolution Will Be Televised

2009-04-10T15:45:00.000-07:00

"The American soccer revolution will happen one pint at a time." from here

I had no idea that my beer-drinking was contributing so much to the future of the MLS. The pressure is off for the blogging now. All I have to do is get drunk. Thank God. I can drink beer. Bring it on! I guess my only question is: how much beer do I have to drink?

On an unrelated side note, why aren't there any bikini baristas next to the stadium on game days? If people weren't that into coffee, they could always sell hot-dogs....not that I would condone that sort of thing......I just think it would be a great business venture.

Preseason Predictions From Wizard's Defender

2009-04-10T09:59:00.000-07:00

Don't be fooled by the steely stare. This Jimmy Conrad bloke is a funny man. Get a read on him (literally) before he comes to Qwest Field tomorrow night as one of Kansas City's defenders.

http://soccernet.espn.go.com/columns/story?id=627719&sec=mls&root=mls&&cc=5901

Jaqua Dishes out Headlock with Diplomatic Aplomb

2009-04-08T21:15:00.000-07:00

Phy-si-cal-ity. They got it. Uh huh. Uh huh. Right. Moving on. Okay folks, what I'm talking about is those Sounders boys but it ain't about cute or anything like that today. What I'm talking about is play. P-l-a-y. What I love about sports in general is the physicality of play. Things are more fun when they are physical. Driving a stick shift for example. More fun than an automatic. Being in bed. More fun when it is physical. Watching sports. More fun when it is physical. Yeah sure, golf is fun to play, but is it fun to watch? Is it interesting to watch, sometimes riveting? Yes. Fun? No. (Mostly it's that sleep inducing Master's music that requires you talk in a whisper: "[breathy] Pass the canapes and crudite please!"). Is horse racing fun to watch? Yes. The horses are banging into each other. The jockeys are bouncing up and down like... um. Nevermind. Tennis? Yes. I mean, have you not heard the emphatic "uhhs" as they slam the ball? I'd be uncomfortable if I was watching it with my parents. Reminds me of the time I thought it would be a good idea to watch Fargo with my parents. Welcome to Seattle, Mom and Dad! Glad you could visit. Shall we have some ice cream and a movie now that we're tuckered out from our day at the Museum of Flight? How about a little Midwestern comedy? Ever seen Fargo? Oh wow, I forgot this was kind of violent. Hmmm, I wonder if they are offended by the mocking of the Midwestern accent? I bet they don't even realize it. Oh, jeez, the nasty hookers are riding Steve Buscemi like... like jockeys! Excuse me, I... I'm just going to get some more ice cream.

So now that none of you will forget that Fargo is not a family film I will get on with my point. The Sounders have dominated in their physicality in these first two matches, which is part of why they are a joy to watch. My favorite example so far was Nate Jaqua's WWE action from Saturday's match at Toronto. Not much more than ten minutes into the second period, Jaqua went up for a header just across the midfield line and was undercut by a Toronto player. Jaqua came down hard on him and accidentally (I'm sure) hooked his arm around the head of that nasty red shirt and smashed him to the ground. It was a bona fide headlock. But the beautiful part was the red shirt was called for the foul and Seattle got the ball. Jaqua then secured his future career as senior diplomat to Runnerupistan when he was seen giving the injured chap a friendly pat with a look that said, "I'm sorry... you pansy chump!"

Of course, when said red shirt gets traded to the Sounders in the 2010 season, I will find a way to call him one bad ass motherfucker. But for now, that designation is for all the boys in green. Go Sounders!

Sounders Fans Rule! Reason #237

2009-04-08T16:51:00.000-07:00

Where are the hooligans?

2009-04-07T18:20:00.001-07:00

Everyone says that Seattle has followed the European tradition of Soccer, ahem Football to use the preferred term, to a perfect "T". I totally disagree. While we have ardent, rabid, naked, singing fans, strong community support for the Sounders, and scarves, we lack the levels of violent support that make European Football (especially English) so great....how long do we have to wait until the fans become brutal and ugly in their fervent desires to support their team?

By this, I mean to show my pride for the very cool nature of Sounders Fans.....Here's another great video exemplifying why Seattle Sounders and their fans kick arse....

Best “Goal” Aria Ever

2009-04-07T13:44:00.000-07:00

“Nacho taco agave enchilada tortilla tequila horchata fredy montero columbiano Goooooooooooooooaaaaaaal! (deep breath) Gooooaaaaaal!”

Coming in at the one minute mark. Soooo good.

Oh yeah.

Hot Sounders Fan

2009-04-07T02:07:00.000-07:00

Quite possibly the hottest Sounders fan around.....or at least one of the most enthusiastic, which goes far in my book.....

Who's Hot?

2009-04-06T16:09:00.000-07:00

Boobs thus far have been a prevalent theme here, but what we really want to know is who's hot? Check out Dan Savage's take on the Sounders: and weigh in here with your own opinion.... Who's the hottest Sounder? And, perhaps, more importantly, who is the hottest Sounders Fan?

SoundersBoard: Who are you and why are you here?

2009-04-06T12:45:00.000-07:00

Welcome to SoundersBoard! We began drunkenly after a recent Sounders game. That’s the problem with early afternoon games. What do you do with yourself by 4pm – Sleep? Keep drinking? Create a blog? Keep drinking and create a blog? Bingo! Apologies if you somehow found your way to our site that day, although you did get to see some good pictures of... never mind. At least we managed to fix the spelling of the site from the original listing of SoundersBored.

We’re a group of Seattle friends who have found themselves somewhat accidentally in love with Seattle Sounders FC. In a matter of weeks we’ve come to obsess about our local club. The result has been copious hours spent “homing from work” (a variation of working from home) in which we spend a few hours a day looking for good Sounders FC stuff online – videos, articles, pictures, fan camaraderie, anything to feed the soul of a fan between matches. After just a few weeks into the season it’s clear that either we are spending too much time homing from work or there are not enough Sounders FC happenings on the web. Enter SoundersBoard.

SoundersBoard is about fans. We’re no experts and we’re not pretending to be serious (as if the boobs didn’t give that away already). This is a place for fans in the true sense of the word:

fa⋅nat⋅ic [fuh-nat-ik] –noun
1. a person with an extreme and uncritical enthusiasm or zeal, as in religion or politics [or soccer].

We’re rather extreme in our enthusiasm (again, boobs) and we are wholly uncritical. Which is why you’ll want to bookmark another blog that debates whether Stellar McPlayer should be part of the starting lineup if that’s what you’re in to. We like that too but can’t promise any incisive commentary from this group. Instead we’ll provide a forum to celebrate girl/boy meets soccer club meets thirty thousand new confederates in a city that they love.

With any luck we’ll contribute to a community of Sounders FC fans that are rabid in their support and a little risqué in their approach. Wanna “Show us your (or your girlfriend’s) ah... scarf?” Got some great photos or video from a recent game or pre/post-funk where you got your swerve on? Send them to soundersboard@gmail.com.

And also, we’re hilarious. Welcome to our world.

Ljungberg Scores!

2009-04-05T13:16:00.001-07:00

There was one thing I wanted from Saturday’s match at Toronto FC. Besides a win of course. And that was for Freddie Ljungberg to score (or “Fredrik”, as the FSC anchors reported he now wants to be called).

Despite waiting all week to watch the match on TV, I committed a rookie error of getting the start time wrong. So when I finally got myself in front of the TV at about the 35th minute, I had already missed the moment I had been waiting for. But I didn’t care. It had happened and that was all that mattered. Ljungberg scored? Ljungberg scored! Hell yes!!

We needed it. He needed it. With one Fredy out, the other steps up. Go Sounders!

#1 Fan-Sounders FC v. Toronto FC

2009-04-04T19:56:00.000-07:00