Steve Zakuani

I know you have all been waiting to see which Sounder I would fall in love with....it was a tough choice at first with so many fine specimens around. First, my true love was Fredy Montero- the very first goal of the team. Fan-fuckingtastic. But, truth be told, he's a little young for me and I worry that the language barrier would get in the way. We all saw how great it went when he had a translator the first time (think false sexual allegations-OUCH) and I wouldn't want to do anything to jeopardize the team.

I won't lie, Ljungberg was also testing me- but seriously, could I really compete with a Swedish girl? Not in this in lifetime, I'm afraid. And, then, I really, really noticed Steve Zakuani. The name, at first, was the main attraction because it sounds so melodious off of my tongue, but then I started to appreciate how fricking fast he is on the field. And, come on, let's be honest, his passes are beautiful. And, while I will more than likely never score with my new true love, I am happy to watch him score any time.