Rabbit Portends Hat Trick Against Chicago

“Here we go with your weekly chance to be the most boring person in your bar or family.”

It’s official. After two trial runs of Prost Amerika Soccer’s Meaningless Statistical Guide to the Game, I am fully prepared to designate them Genius Soccer Blogger Extraordinaire.

And while you’re pondering the number of left foot, right foot, and header goals Sounders FC and the Fire have tallied up so far, might I suggest that you brush up on your definition of Hat Trick and add a few more meaningless statistics to your pregame repertoire?

While I’m sure you discerning soccer enthusiasts know that a hat trick refers to a single player scoring three goals in a single game, did you know that a player achieves a “Perfect Hat Trick” when the three goals scored are from his right foot, left foot, and head? Moreover you can accomplish a hat trick of hat tricks by scoring hat tricks in three consecutive matches.

So here's hoping for a Sounders FC hat trick tomorrow night in Chicago!

PS – Huge bonus points to any Superfan who makes this their regular Sounders FC home game costume (buy here for a mere $700!). An esoteric costume is an especially bold one, and I guarantee you will not be thought “boring.”