Phy-si-cal-ity. They got it. Uh huh. Uh huh. Right. Moving on. Okay folks, what I'm talking about is those Sounders boys but it ain't about cute or anything like that today. What I'm talking about is play. P-l-a-y. What I love about sports in general is the physicality of play. Things are more fun when they are physical. Driving a stick shift for example. More fun than an automatic. Being in bed. More fun when it is physical. Watching sports. More fun when it is physical. Yeah sure, golf is fun to play, but is it fun to watch? Is it interesting to watch, sometimes riveting? Yes. Fun? No. (Mostly it's that sleep inducing Master's music that requires you talk in a whisper: "[breathy] Pass the canapes and crudite please!"). Is horse racing fun to watch? Yes. The horses are banging into each other. The jockeys are bouncing up and down like... um. Nevermind. Tennis? Yes. I mean, have you not heard the emphatic "uhhs" as they slam the ball? I'd be uncomfortable if I was watching it with my parents. Reminds me of the time I thought it would be a good idea to watch Fargo with my parents. Welcome to Seattle, Mom and Dad! Glad you could visit. Shall we have some ice cream and a movie now that we're tuckered out from our day at the Museum of Flight? How about a little Midwestern comedy? Ever seen Fargo? Oh wow, I forgot this was kind of violent. Hmmm, I wonder if they are offended by the mocking of the Midwestern accent? I bet they don't even realize it. Oh, jeez, the nasty hookers are riding Steve Buscemi like... like jockeys! Excuse me, I... I'm just going to get some more ice cream.
So now that none of you will forget that Fargo is not a family film I will get on with my point. The Sounders have dominated in their physicality in these first two matches, which is part of why they are a joy to watch. My favorite example so far was Nate Jaqua's WWE action from Saturday's match at Toronto. Not much more than ten minutes into the second period, Jaqua went up for a header just across the midfield line and was undercut by a Toronto player. Jaqua came down hard on him and accidentally (I'm sure) hooked his arm around the head of that nasty red shirt and smashed him to the ground. It was a bona fide headlock. But the beautiful part was the red shirt was called for the foul and Seattle got the ball. Jaqua then secured his future career as senior diplomat to Runnerupistan when he was seen giving the injured chap a friendly pat with a look that said, "I'm sorry... you pansy chump!"
Of course, when said red shirt gets traded to the Sounders in the 2010 season, I will find a way to call him one bad ass motherfucker. But for now, that designation is for all the boys in green. Go Sounders!
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